How I Decided To Date Again

I fondly remember this phrase my friends and I used to toss around when I was younger:

“I’m such a hopeless romantic”

Maybe we were too idealistic. Maybe we were just young and immature. But I think there was something to how we were feeling. A bunch of young people so excited and encouraged to begin dating.

People who so badly wanted to give ourselves to another.

I have been out of the dating scene for 3 years.

The life of dating as a college student was sort of demoralizing. It often seemed like everyone I wanted a relationship with didn’t want a relationship. And, naturally, I’ let wonderful people ago with the idea that I could somehow do better.

Better, it seems, can become nothing pretty quickly.

So I’m posing a bit of a challenge to myself.

Instead of looking for the person of my dreams, I’m going to isolate what I most look for in a partner.


Mutual support.

Motivated to help others.

Willing to go on adventures and be a little crazy.

We often are told looks don’t matter

Largely untrue, but I don’t think they matter to me like they did when I was younger.

When I was younger, my idea of looks and sexual compatibility were highly influenced by television and porn. Those rigid, often hetero-normative, ideals never really got me anywhere. I ended up with people who couldn’t be more incompatible with my interests and passions.

Sure, looks matter a bit.

But I went to visited my aunt and uncle yesterday, I was reminded of what love and commitment looks like. The conventional looks they sported in their younger years have long faded, but the partnership remains strong.

I think it’s true what they say. Fall in love with someone’s eyes and personality. The rest is almost guaranteed to sag.

So, I suppose, let operation “don’t end up with a saggy as*hole” begin.

Date me! But like, from a distance.

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